Gideon was hospitalized again last Wednesday with a possible aspiration pneumonia and an asthma exasperation on top. This is news to us. We didn't know that he could have asthma. He even stopped eating for a day. I think the aspiration occurred while he was vomiting over Christmas.
We are home now. It always feels so good to come home. Even Gideon seemed happier to be at home. This means more antibiotics and more puffers. So far he has only vomited once since we've been home (unfortunately it was right after he had taken his antibiotics) and he has been sleeping lots. He also has way more energy since before the hospitalization and is moving and vocalizing more. His feeds are still so-so but I think over all he is on the up- I hope.
I wish I knew what was making him have these vomiting episodes. Is it an imbalance? Is he just more prone to picking up bugs? Does he have an allergy? Is there a structural issue? Is his gagging leading to vomiting due to an oral sensory issue? Is the asthma making it harder for him to breath thus exasperating his aspiration and inducing a vomiting session? Or maybe it is a combination of all of the above?
I'm always looking for answers- but I need to come to a point of acceptance that sometimes life doesn't hold any; That there are unknowns out there that are beyond my comprehension and things that will always be unexplained. This is something I still need to come to terms with. I need to stop looking and start having faith in Gideon as he is, leaving all my questions behind, moving forward with a healthy "who cares attitude". Somethings matter and other things don't and I guess I should reexamine these priorities and leave my obsessive Answer Quest behind. I think this would look like a laid back, living in the moment type of lifestyle that is selective of my passions.