Friday, 11 September 2015

Tips for Parents Still Fighting Personal Hygiene

I'm not sure exactly when I gave up my own personal hygiene needs in lieu of parenting.  I think it was somewhere in-between giving up my fashion sense and my sad demise of variety in the kitchen.  Here are my time tested tips to help other parents completely give up on their hygiene too.

Tip #1:  Showers are a luxury item just like a fine wine or a date night.  Having time to shave your legs in the shower is even rarer.  Long pants and socks are your friend.

Tip #2: If your infant throws up in your hair, just pull it up into a pony tail or put on a hat.  See Tip #1 for clarification.

Tip #3: The same pair of jeans can be worn around the house for multiple days (or until you actually have time to do the laundry) unless you encounter that scene from the Exorcist that leaves you sitting in puddles. I draw the line at wearing soaking wet puke jeans and t-shirts that are stuck to your back with spittle.

Tip #4: Make-up and shaving are designated for doctor's appointments, in a heart felt attempt at looking put together and "being on top of things".

Tip #5: Take advantage of the fact that your clothing has multiple purposes:  Nose wipes, face wipes, spittle rags, and drool catchers all can be replaced with your everyday attire.

Tip #6: Long hair = Fashionable - Seriously who has time to visit a hairdresser with all those other appointments in your life? Plus pony tails and hats- right?

Tip #7: Who needs perfume or body spray when you have deodorant?  One application in the morning and you are good to go.  Plus if you forget to apply it or are distracted with all the things needing your attention, all the better.  Embrace your inner hippy.

Tip #8:  Do brush your teeth but remember to push off your regular dentist appointments in lieu of your child's appointments/ homecare schedule.  This can also apply to your own doctor's appointments and any other personal appointments that do not involve severe bleeding, broken bones or lost limbs.

Tip #9: Being adorn with wet, snotty, drooly, kisses will fill you with *joy.  Embrace your joy.
                                       *Joy = germ infested juices that crust all over your face.

MOST IMPORTANTLY

Tip #10: Treat yourself once in a while and you will enjoy it and appreciate it.  You will savour every last bit of it.  Wash your face with a high end soap.  Paint your toe nails. Soak in a tub. Buy yourself one of those fancy electric toothbrushes that makes you feel like you just left the dentist office.

Embrace all the simple pleasures!  
 
Do you have any tips to add?

No comments:

Post a Comment