Wednesday, 13 May 2015

Long Awaited Updates

Sorry for the hiatus.  I think I've had a little caregiver burnout and my motivation has dropped off the charts.

So many things have been going on...

My Lumpy Head
1.  I had some cysts removed from my scalp.  Things are healing up nicely and I don't feel so weird about going to a hairdresser.

2.  Gideon had an eye examination under sedation.  The eye doctor again confirmed that his cataracts were coming back and very aggressively.

3. Gideon had cataract surgery for the third time.  The surgeon was going to take out the whole lens but instead opted to cut away more of the lens rim.  There really isn't much left of his lenses but it sounds like there are a lot of risks with taking them completely out.  The precision needed to do this is amazing!  This does mean that the cataracts could potentially come back a fourth time.

The blue portion is my depiction of what the surgeon has cut out.  

So far he has been recovering well.  He hates the eye guards and has been ripping them off his head.  Lately I've not been putting them on him and just trying to bat his hands away from his eyes when he tries to rub them.  I'll post some pre and post surgery pics later.

4. Mother's day has come and gone.  I had a lovely day with my family.  I was adorned with flowers and cards.  I was kissed and hugged with resounding "Happy Mommy's Day".  I was even gifted with a shower and enough time to shave my legs!

This year mother's day had additional meaning to it.  My first mother's day with Alex was very very special but this year I think I felt more philosophical about it.  I was more reflective about motherhood in general and how much this role has defined me as a person.  I though about the struggles/suffering of Motherhood and the feelings a mother goes through when there child fails, is sick, or rebels against you.  I thought about the first mother depicted in history- Eve.  What an amazing joy having a new life come into the world would be.  Then the devastation, the mourning, the mixed feelings of when your beloved child murders another one of your beautiful children.  As a mother, how would you deal with this?

Motherhood is complex.  You invest so much of yourself into your children and you just want to see them soar to such great heights.  You see so much potential in those beautiful little beings and you would do almost anything to help them succeed.  It seems so unfair to lower the expectations of your child when you know that they are different.  With Gideon, I am shooting for the stars.  I've had to mourn the loss of my initial expectations for my beautiful little boy and embrace the charming child that has won my heart.  I did not expect him to have limitations.  (Which is silly if you think about it because we all have out own limitations)   Expectations and limitations are different.  Even though he is considered legally blind at this point, through these limitations I still expect him to soar.  Soar to reach his full potential- and I will be there to help him push through.  As I've been told, Gideon's full potential is still "up in the air" due to his unknown limitations.  But I think that as long as he strives to do the best that he can, that will make me proud - limitations and all.  In fact, perhaps because of his limitations, I can be even more in awe of his accomplishments and his amazing ability to overcome.

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